the series eye - intense religious emotion

i believe i suffered more than christ. i love life and i want to live, to cry but cannot - i feel such a pain in my soul - a pain which frightens me. my soul is ill. my soul, not my mind. the doctors do not understand my illness... everybody who reads these lines will suffer... my body is not ill, it is my soul that is ill. (from nijinsky's diary - published 1937)

my little girl is singing: 'ah ah ah ah.' i do not understand its meaning, but i feel what she wants to say. she wants to say that everything... is not horror, but joy (from nijinsky's diary)

the outsider's problem is to balance this against van gogh's last words: misery will never end. it is a question no longer of philosophy, but of religion. (colin wilson)

when the voice was heard in the silence i felt my body harden and the nausea vanish; suddenly it was almost unbearable to become so hard, so brilliant... i am in the music. globes of fire turn in the mirrors, encircled by rings of smoke. (from jean-paul satre's la nausée - 1938)

all quotes found in colin wilson's the outsider - 1956
drawings by nijinsky